Thursday, August 23, 2007

So Good...

So I know I've been MIA from my blog lately. Sorry. I really have things I've been meaning to post, but I guess time has gotten the best of me. Anyhoo...I recently found an 80s movie I was desperately looking for on DVD this past weekend when I was in my hometown on Milwaukee. Anyhoo you'll see what it is below as I present my 10 favortie bad movies, you know the ones that are so bad they're good. I didn't include the obvious SHOWGIRLS as that's in a league of its own as are any and all John Waters films. These films weren't all necesarily trying to be bad (ok some where) but whatever they were wasn't very good.

10. DROP DEAD FRED What's not to love about this movie? Phoebe Cates (absolutely love her...hello Shag anyone?) has an imaginary friend as a kid who's beyond trouble and after surpressing it for years, he comes back into her life as an adult. The guy that plays Fred is hilarious, and those one liners! I absolutely adore the little girl who plays Phoebe's character as a child. Favorite line? I'm your fella Anabella

9. LAST DRAGON Awful awful 80s movie! But it features Vanity and her delicious song 7th Heaven. Plus the faux pop star who looks like Bette Midler on crack...Dirty Boys! OMG this movie is so wrong I don't know where to begin. Cheese and more cheese. Who's the master? Sho-nuf!

8. GARBAGE PAIL KIDS Ok this was the movie that inspired this post. I am sure you all remember the Garbage Pail Kids cards right? They were so popular at the time someone thought it would be a good idea to bring their grossness to the big screen. What were they thinking!?! It's like watching one big fart joke. And that theme song at the end of the movie? If you're teacher send you to the principal's can be a Garbage Pail Kid!

7. SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE Ok this one is bad on soooo many levels. First of all it stars Samantha Newark. Who's that you might be asking yourself? Well she's none other than the speaking voice of Jem. Yes from the cartoon. It's great hearing Jem swear! This is a bad movie about some kids who take over their summer camp, and well you can imagine the rest. But what's even greater is the awful talent contest where we are serenaded with a song about beef bologna.

6. SHE-DEVIL Ok I friggin' adore Roseanne and her her TV show is one of my favorites of all-time. So to capitalize on her TV success back in the day, someone gave her own movie (not to mention a lame TV movie about football moms). To top it off her costar was Meryl Streep! Roseanne plays a scorned wife who takes revenge on her cheating husband and destroys everything in her quest. The result is this awful awful movie that's taken on a life of its own.

5. JUST ONE OF THE GUYS Does it get any better than this? A Chicago high school senior (w/ a very heavy New York accent might I add) decides to go undercover as a guy at a rival high school after not winning a journalist internship. Because girls aren't good she has a point to prove. I think they did a knock off of this recently, some lame Amanda Bynes movie. It's just pure 80s cheese, and I love it!

4. EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY As a kid I was obsessed w/ Julie Brown and her MTV show Just Say Julie. Well when I found out she was going to be co-starring in a movie I was thrilled. Bad on so many levels, the acting, the songs ('Cause I'm a Blond anyone?), the cheesy dancing. It's too die for! As an adult I appreciate it's campiness even more. Not to mention that I have a major hard on for Jeff Goldblum (grrrrr). Long story short Geena Davis plays a scorned wife (what's w/ these cheated on women flicks I seem to love), aliens crash their spaceship in her pool (they also happen to be furry but w/ a little help from beautician pal Julie Brown they are hotties), they have zany adventures while on Earth, blah blah. You get the point. So bad it's good!

3. MI VIDA LOCA Ok anyone who knows me, knows I can practically recite this movie in my sleep. This has to be one of the worst movies EVER! The acting is so bad, the dialouge is hilarious (Let's see if you're down for shit bitch, and don't be a leva), etc. It's like every bad cliche in every bad latino movie. I just love how awful this movie! The whole chola backdrop is to die for! What I would do to meet la Whispers in person!

2. ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK Elvira's popularity in the 80s brought her to big screen, and to this day this movie remains a fave. Elvira hosts a bad horror show (wow what a stretch); quits, is broke and finds out she's inherited a house from a long lost aunt she didn't even know existed. Basically she runs amuck in a small town where her boobs (or gazungas as they're so lovingly referred to) cause quite a stir. This movie is pure cheese, the townsfolk (Eddie McClurg stars as Chastity Pariah, my email namesake) are to die for, and who can forget all her sexual innuendos and that rap she does at the end of the movie! They should make this into a musical!

Now the moment you've all been waiting for...

1. TEEN WITCH Holy bad! Holy cheese! Holy teen musical! This is by far one of my favorite movies of all time (bad or good). Louise discovers she is a descendant in a long line of witches who get their powers on their 16th birthday. She goes from frumpy outcast to becoming the most popular girl in school (thanks to her magicals powers). The awful late 80s fasions, the songs (We like boys! Top That!), that creepy lady from Poltergeist. But the best is that spazzy kid who plays her little brother...You think you're hot stuff...well you're nothing but a dog! A dog!


Chicago_Sexbox said...

How can u blog about "She Devil" without mentioning Sa-Fire's fabulous contribution to the soundtrack with her funked out version of "I WIll Survive".

Shame on you Sista M! You lose freestyle points lol.

bomitoni said...

That Safire cover is just's so bad it's bad! LOL! Besides it's not even a freestyle song if you wanna get technical.

Coco said...

shhh...keep it a secret, eh.
i saw a few of those movies, too.
she devil, last dragon, and elvira.
take care!

L'Innommable said...

That movie with Jeff Goldblum sounds interesting! I LOVE Jeff!